i swear i didn't leave.

hi friends. 

i'm so so so so so so so so sorry for the tiny hiatus. 

it was unplanned, minus the fact that for half of it i was out of town. 

if you noticed on instagram, i was in chicago and IT WAS THE BEST. but as soon as i got home, i got sick with something and couldn't really function for most of the week. 

but i'm working on a couple post that should be up thought out the next week or so, specifically one about chicago, so IT'S GONNA BE SHAWEET.

but as for now, i'm working on a presentation/ post for this site and currently donning a black facial mask because "i'm such a basic white girl."

have a lovely day, you lovely people.

p.s. 

i'm hoping this video will load. if it doesn't, then dang.

|| 5 reasons why i love being a youth leader ||

hi friends!

as you are reading this, 

i am currently headed to chicago with a van full of spunky teenagers

 and one entertaining youth pastor. 

why you may ask?

we are all headed to moody bible institute for founder's week- a week long bible conference. we get to take this opportunity to visit the school, attend a conference with a bunch of fantastic speakers and amazing worship (as a worship leader, i am most excited about this part), visit some of our former students, and on top of all that, explore the blustery city of chicago. 

what more can you ask for?

with all this being said, i thought it would be appropriate to explain why i love being a youth leader. here are the ten reasons why its cool. 

part of my small group

(in no particular order)

1. i get to channel being a kid again 

and build relationships with the teens.

it's really refreshing after a long week to unwind by hanging out with kids at least ten years your junior. not much is expected other than acceptance, a little love, and someone for them to talk to. and if you act a little crazy, it's socially acceptable. you don't have to fully act your age for a few hours.`

2. i kinda get to do the whole 

"what i would have told my younger self" 

to an actual younger version of me.

have you ever come across a teenager who, maybe minus looks, is exactly how you were as a teen? scary isn't it? but also it's kinda neat and sometimes scary to see that from a different perspective. you see then make the same choices, good or bad, that you made back in the day and this gives you the opportunity to correct some wrongs in another youngster by walking them through  "what no to do" and hopefully steer them in the right direction. *fingers crossed*

my small group 

this girl reminds me of myself when i was her age. i love her dearly.

3. it helps to keep me spiritually accountable.

now i realize that this isn't the only way to keep accountable, but it is very helpful. the way i look at it is, how are you going to help teenagers grow spiritually when you're not there yet either? how are you going to answer questions, particularly the hard ones? you gotta be alert, ready to go. prepared for anything. "Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong." (I Corinthians 16:13)

4. i get the opportunity to instill some Godly truth into, and disciple the youngers.

someone once described the importance of youth ministry to me in this way- this is the time in a teens life where they are becoming older and beginning to make and for their own decisions and opinions on certain things and topics. you want to get them while they are still forming said thoughts and opinions. this is one of the best times to tell them about Jesus. 

5. i potentially get to travel.

i love to travel. so when i can do it with the youth ministry, it's the actual best thing. i've been able to go to chicago once before, youth camp over a million times (ok ten, but you get the picture) and overseas. mission trips with teenagers is a fun and rewarding time  because you get to watch these teens practice what they've been taught to those who don't know Jesus. i love watching them step outside their comfort zone.

the forbidden city
beijing, china
 2016

but in all honesty, it's really an amazing opportunity to teach young kids, mainly young girls, who's exact seats you were sitting in ten years ago, about Jesus and how to love Him in a time where its really hard to. and i'm still being taught as well, because the things we teach the teenagers, it's still  very essential to adults.

hope you enjoyed this post, friends!

i have some questions for you- 

are you a part of any ministries at your church? 

what is it/ are they? 

do you love them?

ps. here is a picture of me in highschool.

emphasis on the awkward. 

but don't forget thats why we are all here to begin with. 

|| don't get me started ||

hi friends. 

today am beside my self with hilarity over this post that i'm about to crank out.

i once saw a wonderful idea for a road trip game on facebook. the idea is that everyone lists a topic, and after each topic you start off your statement with "don't get me started on (insert topic here)" and from there, you just vent the crap out of whatever topic it is. it doesn't even have to be something that makes you angry, you just have to go off on each topic. you can take it in an angry manner or "it's so good its annoying" kind of manner.

so with that being said, here is the (hopefully) first ever blog version of "don't get me started".

i went on my personal and blog facebook pages and asked y'all for random, but not political (because that will defeat my purpose and no one needs that kind of current negativity in their life), topics. little did you know what i was going to do with them. prepared to be confused and feel a little uncomfortable and hopefully awkward.

social media.

don't get me started with social media ya'll. it is beginning to get a little weird. have you noticed how awkwardly social everyone is becoming lately? you want to know why that is? 

because of the media that is social.

all these teeny booper folk are walking around with their nose on their phone (which, if you know about germs, is incredibly unsanitary) and then the inevitable and very backward thing happens- these poor kids with this growth attached to them end up running into inanimate objects and apologize to said objects or they run into a human being and say nothing, blush, stick their nose back on their phone or tablet and run away. what's up with that?

pigeons.

don't get me started on pigeons. 

what's the deal with these birds? 

with their wing flapping, their pecking, their begging, their general nosiness? 

why?

 and have you ever taken a good look at a pigeon? 

they are ugly as sin, with their beady little eyes that stare judgement into your soul if you look at them for too long. 

they're just so..........

ugh, ya know?

 i know you get what i mean. and you know who else gets what i mean? 

pigeons. 

they are too intelligent for their own good. they know. they know that i know that they know that i know that the pigeons know, man. they just know. creepy little beasts of the air....oh wait, thats the crow. don't get me started on those.

online shopping.

don't get me started on online shopping. 

online shopping is the worst and also the best at the same time.

 it's the worst because you have no legitimate guarantee that something is going to work or going to fit. you are basically playing Russian roulette with the internet. 

for product. 

that just doesn't make a lot of sense to me. but then online shopping is pretty legit since you literally have to do nothing but push a couple buttons and your product, that you're gambling for-don't forget, appears and your weird fed ex man shows up at the door to hand you your goods. this requires nothing, not even pants, and we all know what a hassle pants are, but don't get me started on those. 

too complex.

and from it all you slowly begin to spin out of control.

naps.

don't get me started on naps. the word automatically makes me want to crawl in a rabbit's hole and snuggle into the warm fluffy coat of the den mother. there will i fall into the sweetest of slumbers, dreaming about puppies, coffee, happy things.......

whoa. 

i actually started to fall asleep for a second.

see, this is why i don't talk about naps. i'm automatically taken into a trance of sweet, sweet, sleepy coma...............

and there we go again. that's why you never get me started on naps.

the freshness of Wonder bread.

don't even get me started on the freshness of wonder bread. it's so fresh that it makes me angry. i've never experienced something so fresh, so fly. it has much style. it stays classic, vintage and never changes. the glistening plastic bag keeps the sweet loaf in it's form- the kind of packaging is what brings the people back every time.

we can learn something from this- 

consistency is key

and with that, we have one of the strangest posts i have ever written.

ok thats actually a lie. the strangest post i have ever written is here .
but this one is a close second.
i challenge everyone to play this game in your car, 
whether you're on a raid trip or stuck in traffic. 
heck, maybe even play it in walmart. 
that couldn't be the oddest thing that has happened in there, amiright?

|| the best of awkwardly caroline ('09-'14) ||

for some reason, i decided to go through my blog and look through my posts for the last 8 years. it was crazy seeing how my ability to write has grown along with my creativity. i also thought this would be a good way for all of my readers (new and old) to get to know me as a blogger/writer/author.

so, with that being said, and in no particular order (because i love them all), here is "the best of awkwardly caroline" (or if you were here in the very beginning, a gracious demeanor/ everybody behave naturally).

first, and most important, here is everything i've written that's been awkward. clearly that's why we are all here. it's clearly why i write.

next, we have the exam that was a bunch of poop. here i tell you about the most frustrating test i have ever experienced in my college career.

then, we have a very serious post referring to God's love and how His love is the most important love. for sometime frame- this was written about 6 months to a year before same sex marriage was legalized and everyone was in an uproar over something regarding all of that (this is not to sound insensitive, i just don't remember the reason why all this stuff was going on).

then, we have that split moment in college where i thought about becoming a midwife. oh silly 20 year old Caroline. yes, while being a midwife would still be incredible, you do not need to do that. you would have to go through nursing school, and we all know you would fail it. it's just not a good idea. just stick to what you know- writing.

then, we have one of the longest posts i've ever written. gosh, i just went back and read through this post and i remember so clearly all of it. i'm so thankful that God laid it on my heart to continue in the ministry direction.

next, and this one still kills me (but i could probably make it actually work now that i have more cooking experience), there is that one time that pinterest actually failed me. shocker, i know. i wasn't ready for it either. maybe i should redo this one as a follow up and see if it still breaks.

then, let's remember that time i gave some helpful information to the gentlemen out there on taking their lady out to dinner. i still stand firmly but this, and if my standards for men in my age group are still to high, then maybe those men should get their acts together. there is no reason why this should still be happening, and if it is, fix and eat your food at home. you can have a perfectly good date night at home while not ripping anyone off in the process. #sayitlouderforthepeopleintheback

but i digress.

back to the actual content of this post.

here we present the comical little post about the importance of pens. i remember finding a small blurb about this online, and i took it, gave credit to the source, and ran with it, because sometimes i think i'm hilarious.

and finally, since next week is the super bowl and the end of football season (can i get an amen? no one interesting is playing and i'm sorry, i'm tired of football. i'm ready for baseball) is near. i give you, what i normally do instead of watch the super bowl; college student addition. i'll try to a follow up with a barista or working girl addition for next week and then we cam play compare and contrast.

i don't know about you, but as i said in the beginning, i'm very proud of these posts. i hope you too enjoy them. let me know which one is your favorite!

on bloglovin

hi ya'll! just as a quick heads up, i'm on bloglovin'!

you can find me here.

have a great day!!!

|| what i'm currently listening to. ||

music is one of my favorite things. 

ever. 

seriously. 

ask anyone who knows me well, and they will tell you that music is my jam. 

get it?

music?

jams? 

*insert finger guns here*

since i love music so much, i want to share with you all what has been on repeat for the last month . this has been my go to playlist of songs to listen to at six am while i am getting to work and setting things up for the day. they are great for getting into the mood of "yes, today will be good. i will do the things, i will serve the coffee. and i'll do it with a spring in my step."

ok, maybe thats too enthusiastic for six am, but whatever.

so....in no particular order:

1. "24k Magic"- Bruno Mars

this ENTIRE album is incredible. i was a tiny bruno fan when "just the way you are" came out because, well let's face it, that song is cute, sweet, and what every girl wants to hear. but then he dropped off my radar for a while (unless one of his hits came on the radio) and theeeeeeeeennnnnnn 24K MAGIC APPEARED as the first single off his newest album. i was intrigued instantly, and then when the album came out, i got it. OHMYLANTA YA'LL. it is such a fun album. it's the 70's groove, with a top 40s twist. straight fire. i kid you not, i listened to that album for a straight month- this was sue to the fact that there is no aux chord in my car and also the album is THAT GOOD.

2. "Yeah Boy"- Kelsea Ballerini

this is a "country" jam. i sue the quotations because, like much of today's country music isn't what it used to be. at least, so i've been told. i didn't really start listening to country music (i actually used to hate it witha fiery passion) till i was a senior in highschool.

don't get me wrong, i love to listen to this country music. this particular jam has a nice beat, nice sound, and pleasing to the ear.

3. "Body Moves", 4. "Toothbrush", 5. "Good Day",  6. "Pay My Rent"- DNCE

so, time for some honesty. the main reason i listen to DNCE is because of Joe Jonas. he was and still is my favorite jonas brother. after having been teased back in 2012 about the return of the jonas brothers, i've been lowkey bitter about no new music from anyone in that family at that moment. then i heard this band was forming, i heard that Joe was in this band, and i heard that the jonas brother's former drummer, jack lawless, i was COMPLETELY on board. granted i don't think dnce's music is as tasteful as the glory days of the jonas brothers, i'll still take it and i'll dance with it til it dies.

7. "Mercy"- Duffy

i'm bringing this one back from the back of the closet. i listened to this song again recently and i can't begin to explain to you why i like it, but i do. i definately cannot relate to the subject matter (at least i hope not) but i really dig duffy's vocal range here. it's a good song to belt out.

8. "Caroline"- Anime'

can you guess why i like this song? i have yet to find a song called "caroline", that i don't like. maybe its a cocky thing, but you have to admit, most of the time, songs that feature you're name make you feel real special.

9."That's My Girl"- Fifth Harmony

i'm not the biggest fan of this group. i can't explain why i've never been a fan, but i'm just not. HOWEVER they have been able to pump out a few banging hits. this one is no different. it's got a jammin beat, and it talks about (however correct me if i'm wrong) supporting and praising the best pals in your life and i really dig that.

10. "Call On Me" -Starley (Ryan Riback Remix) 

(specifically this remix)

Its a tights song about being supportive, and it has a tight beat. therefore, it's tight. and also i came across this from soneone i follow on snapchat.

11. "My Prerogative"- Bobby Brown

really, the only reason i found this song is because it was sung on glee and i'm currently watching it two years two late. but, it's tight.

12. "Like a Virgin."- Madonna

80's music is the best kind of music. always. and also, this too was sung on glee. i'm a sad individual.

13. "Too Good"- Drake ft. Rhianna

for some reason, drake has been a jam lately. he's got good, danceable rhythms (yes, even for the ones wo can't dance, but try ever so hard to do so aka me). add rhianna in there, and it's good to go. just run with it. or dance. i don't know you.

14. "I'm Alive"- Celine Dion

as you can see, a pattern is forming with jams that have good beats. i'm a sucker for a good beat, whether electronically or acoustically. pump out a good beat and my head will bop and next thing you know, out pops the whitest white girl you've ever seen. this song is no exception.

15. "Seein Red"- Dustin Lynch

just ask my roomate (who feels the same), this song gives me feels man. all of the feels and dance moves. all over everything.

16. "Stars in Your Heart"- Bonnie Mckee

this is just a sweet simple song about love. at least that's my interpretation. but it's just good. even when you are losing the ability to properly describe feelings towards something, as i currently am, it's still real good.

17. "Miss You"- Gabrielle Aplin

FAVORITE SONG ALERT.

FAVORITE.

FAVORITE

FAVORITE.

SO GOOD. SO SWEET.

IT'S ABOUT MISSING SOMEONE which i've related to a lot recently and so i think that's why i'm crazy about this song.

and finally last but not least because if you remember these were in no particular order......

18. "Make You Mine"- High Valley

SECOND FAVORITE PROBABLY BECAUSE UUUUUGGGGHHHH. my roommate showed me this song a couple days ago and it's SO GOOD. it's not a typical country song. it's got a folky feel and it makes you tap your feet. not to mention the line "soul miner's daughter." in context, UGGGGGHHHH its the best.

and, like all good things, this post must come to an end.

what are you listening to currently? i'd love to know!

a year in review: 2016

hi friends! it's been a while! 

i figure that the best way to dive in is too just do a good ole' year in review. 

so here we go!

January: 

celebrating my mom's birthday from afar,

 and a wedding where i was able to see my brother and some close friends.

february:

was a chaperon for a college trip. the youth pastor and myself took a handful of our youth group to chicago to visit moody bible institute for a conference and the chance to visit the school. we also got the joy of seeing some of the youth that had graduated and started attending school there.

march:

attended one of the most jammin concerts i've ever been to

 (not including my favorite band, The Oh Hellos the year prior) 

with some of the loveliest people. this month also started the wedding festivities for one of my dearest and oldest friends (she got engaged the previous fall). also, voted in what i THOUGHT was going to be a hopeful election. also notice the most terrifying face swap of the month.

april: 

this was actually one of the most diffcult months i've ever experienced. 

i had some property stolen and work became very stressful. thankfully that smae weekend, after these things happened/ were happening, i was able to get out of town with some of my dear friends (abby and cara)- we hightailed it to the mountains where we rented a cabin in the woods (no weird movie ref here, i promise), and we just spent some much needed time in the mountains, away from everything. praise the Lord for calm bachelorette parties. thankful for these beautiful woman and our lifelong friendship.

may: 

what a month this was!

 i got to watch someone who has been one of my sisters,

 get married to her best friend. it is such a cool thing to watch.

june:

this month had some hectic and busy times. i had to make a last minute trip up to West Virginia as there was a loss in my family. while this is not the best of circumstances, it was a good time to visit with family that i hadn't seen in ages. then i came home and had to turn around the next day and head off to camp to get set up. my church does a yearly youth camp (as seen here and here) and this year, i was in charge of the worship team. so we headed up a few days early (with the help of my brother coming as well) to get set up and get the sound checked. it was a wonderful week of learning and worship God, and while trials happened, the devil did what he could to discourage us, God prevailed overall. 

july:

this was definitely one of the main highlights out of the year. 

i was able to revisit a country that captured my heart- China. 

made some wonderful friends, saw some amazing sites, 

ate some crazy good food; this was a good month! 

this month really only required me to readjust back on american soil, s

pend time with my furbaby and best friend, 

and get used to a job promotion. very relaxed over all!

this month was lovely because i was able to see another year and celebrate my 24th birthday. a couple of my dear friends were in town and my best friend/ roomate took me to my favorite place in the world- Charleston, SC. also, (not pictured) wrecked my beloved truck near the end of this month.

this month was a whirlwind. at the beginning of the month, a hurricane swept through my sweet, sleepy little town and along the east coast. with that came evacuation. thankfully (especially since i was with out a car at the time) i was able to high tail it out of town with my roommate, Caroline, her family and boyfriend. we headed up to greenville and spent about five days in the mountains and it was a much needed break, yet again.

and so begins the holiday season. 

i voted in the scariest election that i have ever actually paid attention too. 

then a couple weeks later my mom came into town and 

we celebrated thanksgiving with some dear family members.

december brought in the usual christmas cheer. 

i started out the month with a christmas party for the youth group, 

had the wedding of my dear friend a couple weeks later, 

and ended it with heading out to colorado to spend christmas 

with my mom and other family members.

this past year was an odd one, both in the media and in my own life. there was lots of learning, lots of questioning, lots of jim halpert faces. but over all there were many good moments, as you can see through the cluster of pictures. and over all, one is to remember how GOOD God is. 

so here is to 2017.

 a year to once again remember how GOOD God is no matter what happens.