i am so excited to share with you another installment of "thing baristas everywhere are begging you not to do."
if you are new to this blog, read the first post by clicking anywhere in this sentence. but in summary, as a barista (it pays my bills ya'll), i felt it necessary to verbalize a written list of proper conduct/ decent human behavior/ normal human social skills when at a coffee shop. and also the things we baristas wish you wouldn't do/wish wouldn't happen.
that was a lot of slashes. lets move on.
please do not freak out about tiny changes like a menu redesign. just because it looks different doesn't mean anything. so don't whine or get scared.
please don't assume the creamer pitcher is broken. really, you just don't know how to use it, but that makes me sad since the lever you need to release the cream is RIGHT THERE next to your fingers. not all creamer pitchers are a pour and go. in fact most aren't. crazy to think, huh?
if the couch seats three or four people, you shouldn't need to sit on top of each other when you are THE ONLY PEOPLE IN THE SHOP. i thought i was done dealing with cross pda couples. but clearly i'm not. therefore i will stare at you til you get the hint.
when i let you know where to put your dishes, should you ask, i mean it. don't come back moments later saying "i don't know what to do with my dishes." there are counters, there is a tray outside, did i mentions THERE ARE COUNTERS.
do not, i repeat DO NOT, just hand a barista a wad of change to count out because you don't feel like doing it. that's a level of lazy that doesn't make sense to even me, A LAZY PERSON.
please, PLEASE don't give me attitude when you've come to the shop after closing, AFTER CLOSING, pull on the door and it doesn't open. you need to learn how to read signs.
adding to the after hours, don't give me attitude when i won't let you in AFTER HOURS to let you use the bathroom. i don't know of many places that will open to anyone that has to use a bathroom. its aliability on my end and a saftey hazard. you made the choice to go drink to much at the bar down the road, so your bladder issue is a YOU problem.
i may have mentioned this in the last installment, but if you see pastries in the pastry case, you'd better believe those are the only pastries we carry. what you see is what you get. we don't just put half of our crap out there. we may rotate new items in but we can't magically appear with the muffin you want that's not in the case. we make what we make. go elsewhere.
and this should be obvious, but the world is full of people who are oblivious but DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES come into my shop THREE MINUTES before closing and ask if you have time to grab a quick drink, you are taking advantage of everyone working in that shop and the fact that technically we can't turn you away (though we should be able to because three minutes, that's just wrong). use your brain and realize that we are about to lock to door in a matter of minutes and we need to clean. we've almost shut everything down. i'm not rebrewing a new pot of coffee for you. im sorry. you should have considered that when you left to get coffee as it's getting dark. you should have thought, "maybe i should have a backup plan in case they aren't open." i kow that's asing a lot of people these days, but COME ON.