Thursday, February 20, 2014

the awkward moment when.

ok. ok. 
it's baaaccck!!!! 
i'm pumped.
 i'm super pumped. 
i'm super pumped to embarrass myself to ya'll again!
 i'm bringing back the weekly awkward moments. 
every thursday (maybe friday depending on my mood or my life), come head over here and here about my awkward life. 
you'll have a whole new perspective of me (that is of course, if you didn't read my awkward posts before.)

i really need to make a new pciture for this post.

 when you decide to start up something you stopped a long time ago. Example, this post. i think i stopped because i wasn't seeing anything awkward, but in reality that's a lie. i see and experience awkward ALL. THE. TIME.

when after deciding to start this up again, you realize that most of the awkward your readers will be reading about the awkward that happens to a waitress. i hope you're prepared for the awkward that comes with working in the food and beverage industry.

when, after the millions of times that you (jokingly, yet slightly serious for various reasons) threatened to kick people in the shins, you kick your own self in the shins by pulling a glass rack off of a shelf and slam down into your legs. IT'S CALLED KARMA.

when taking people's order you LIT'rally (think parks and rec's Chris Traeger played by the handsome Rob Lowe.) do not remember how to speak. happens to me often, so i have to completely start over and get weird and/or ugly looks while telling my guest that they can help themselves to the garden bar whenever they are ready. and to think i was an English Major, ruler of the good grammar fellows. have mercy.

when your math skill suuuuuuuccck. and this is really bad because you are constantly counting out change, but thank goodness for the computers who do the math for you, unless you put in the wrong total and then have to take ten-fifteen minutes to remember how to subtract. so you pull out your phone, which is forbidden on the floor. and then you do the walk of shame back to the table with the correct change while guest give you dirty looks for taking waaaaaayyy to long to get ehir change. NO, I SWEAR I WASN'T TRYING TO STEAL MONEY FROM YOU. MY MATHS AREN'T WORKING TODAY.

when you ask someone, whom you don't know well (as in only met them once but for some creepy reason they remember you and you don't quite remember them) how they are. TWICE. WITHIN ONE MINUTE OF THE PREVIOUS. because you don't know what else to say to this stranger. and when they ask you how you are a second time, you answer differently than the first time. not a full minute ago.

alrighty folks that's it for this week! anything awkward happen to you recently?

Monday, February 10, 2014

the grammy's salute to the beatles.

 normally, as much i would love to watch things like this, i don't because i don't have the means to do so.
i don't have access to television, haven't for a while. so let me say that i am thankful for a best friend who let's me come to her house all the time, because in doing so, i got to see most of this program. 

and let me tell you. i had a party. 

it was just the best to see ringo starr and paul mccartney in the same room fifty years after the first time the beloved british boy band (try saying that one five times fast) appeared in America. 

in my head i'm thinking 
"oh this is so great. this is so great seeing these old chums back together with their families." 
and i'm thinking this in an English accent.

i know. 
it's weird.
but i'm weird, and i'm pretty sure everyone here knows that and have come to terms with the fact that it's a normal thing.

i really don't know how to continue this post in a logical and understandable fashion. i just have a lot of feels about it. 
let's also keep in mind that there were still pieces i missed of this program, so really i'm just talking about what i saw, what i liked the best, and what i don't understand.

first off, i saw one of my favorite bands, Maroon 5, singing a Beatles song i did not recognize, but i didn't care. actually this is when we walked in to see this program had started. my exact words were "oh look! the beatles! no wait. adam levine!"
i'm kinda dumb. ha.

next, stevie wonder performed "we can work it out" with his sassy little twist that he gives everything. and i loved it.

danny harrison, son of george harrison, appeared next with a band i did not recognize, and yet another beatles song i did not know, but that's ok because i got chill bumps seeing the son of a beatle singing a song his dad helped make popular.

the next people i saw where these two gents. both decent guitar players (i'm one to talk. they can play light years around me.), but i was very confused about John Mayor's pant selection. he had some sort of hangy-down thing that was like a butt flap. i came to the conclusion that it was a pocket for his ipad or laptop. 


katy perry was next (or she was right before, i don't actually remember), and sang a beautiful rendition of "yesterday." i was was also lead to confusion by her outfit choice, but now that i have thought about it, she was probably trying to channel her inner sixties self.

then ed sheeran came on the screen. 
let me tell you....his performance was awesome.
just the best.
i have no idea what he sang. 
but it was nice.

then last and never least, the finale.
ringo starr and paul mccartney together again singing the songs that made them famous.
needless to say i was mentally freaking out. 
it was a party.

during the entire program, the camera hits a number of people in the front row. recognize any of these faces?

my favorite part of the evening (besides ringo and paul's performance):
tom hanks and rita wilson. the camera panned on then every so often and they were just having the best. time. ever. 
and it was the cutest thing.
 i love them.

can just say, too that, johnny depp's segway into the next act during the program, was rather awkward? or was that just me?

and even though no one is thrilled with her, seeing yoko ono and her and john's son (who looked just like lennon) at the performance was interesting to me as well. 

yoko had some moves. it was weird. 
but whatever.

overall it was wonderful to see the grammy's salute to the beatles.
like i said, it was a party.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

in which i talk about shaving. boys, you may not want to read this.

i'm gonna talk about it: shaving.

i'm not gonna lie, i really hate shaving, which is funny because i can remember the day that i asked my mom if i could start shaving. then i wanted to, now i hate it. i hate it so much that i have found the lazy way to shave: nair. nair is my best friend and it works pretty dang good too.

most of the time.....then those are those few times that i just for some reason don't leave it on long enough for it to do anything. basically leaves me saying "good job Caroline. way to burn your skin!" in all the sarcasm that i can muster.

then recently, i was given the opportunity to try a new razor before it hit the shelves; the Gillette Venus sensitive skin razor.

oh my lanta. this thing is glorious. and it's for sensitive skin! that was another reason i didn't use real razors. i found that Nair didn't irritate my skin but other razors would. this cute gillette one doesn't! and it's got a really easy-to-grip handle. and it glides very smoothly on my skin. AND it came with a wall hanger to put in your shower, making it easy to get to.

not gonna lie. that last part made me super excited. 

anyway, ladies, if you're prone to sensitive skin or just hate shaving in general (it's ok. be honest. this is a no judgement zone.) or you're like me and you find the shower-wall hanger exciting, this is the razor for you. 

combine it with the lovely Eos Lavender Jasmine shaving cream and it's a party for your legs and pits. 

this was a sponsored post. gave me this opportunity to try out the new razor by sending it to me for free! 
all opinions expressed are my own. 
it's worth it. 
it really is.

Monday, February 3, 2014

what i did instead of watching the superbowl.

while everyone else was watching the superbowl, i was busy doing other things.

i was busy having a dance party,

i was busy eating,

i was busy being studious,

i was busy falling asleep while being studious,

i was busy laughing,

but in all seriousness, i really did not watch the superbowl. 
i have no feelings towards football. i have no knowledge about football. 
anytime i have watched it, i have stood when everyone else stood because i did not want anyone's booty in my face, 
i clapped when everyone else clapped because clapping is fun and i like to clap.
the only thing i can actually understand is when there is someone running with the ball towards the goal.

then, and only then do i get it. 

that guy is about to make a touchdown.

otherwise, you get the joy of me making remarks such as 
"way to sport. those boys know how to football real good."

i can hear the nauseated groans of football fans everywhere.

and yes.
 i know.
 i made a similar joke already on facebook.

Saturday, February 1, 2014

i identify with fictional characters.

have you ever read a book or watched a tv show and just seen a particular person (s) and been like "they get it. they get me. they are me. i am them." yes, there is lack of grammar skills there, chill out.

i have come across a few characters lately that i totally identify with.

my name is caroline and i identify with fictional characters.

without further ado, ladies and gentlemen:
 Kenneth Parcell 

he understands what it's like to be jacked up on caffeine, and describes it perfectly. 

i know i've felt this way before.

when he get's excited about something, he get's really excited,

i get excited, but not normally this excited. it all depends on the sitch.
he understands my horror of certain "children's" shows

he understands my love of everybody and television,

he can be really random......exhibit A,

he understand the art of awkward.....and making the awkward even more awkward,
because we all know that saying something is awkward makes it that much more awkward.

and then there is Liz Lemon.

she get's the accomplishment of not being over emotional all the time,

she understands having a love of cheese, 

she get's confused so very easily,

she sometimes has an emotional breakdown from being overly exhausted,

she understands the importance of rewarding yourself,

she understands fashion,

she understands for having a general love of food,

and she knows the accomplishment of talking to a cute guy without being 100% stupid,

and then last but never least, there's Jessica Day.

she's really bad at making decisions,

she sings a lot,

she's clumsy,

she tries to relate to everyone,

she knows her fate and is cool with it, 

she likes being herself,

and she knows the importance of a good dance party.

all in all, these three characters are awkward. and if you have been around here long enough, you know i really like awkward. so these characters get me.

what fictional character (tv, book, or movie, i'm not picky) do you identify with?