Thursday, November 3, 2011

the awkward moment when.....

most of these happened on a monday. probably about half. WHY DO THESE ALWAYS HAPPEN ON A MONDAY?

....your at walmart, and APPARENTLY your pay check has gone through juuuuuuuust yet. and i was at a u-scan. which decided to share the news that i was broke with EVERYONE AT WALMART. those things are so annoying, aren't they? i feel lucky when i find one with the sound TURNED OFF. that's rare.

....when your pulling your heavy bag up off the floor and make a grunting noise because it is so heavy. a quiet-ish grunt, but A GRUNT IS A GRUNT. right as i made this noise, an attractive guy comes around the corner. RIGHT AS I GRUNT. no sir, i am not a pig, MY BIG IS SUPER HEAVY.

....when said attractive guy goes to the water fountain AT LEAST five times during is tie in the library. (disclaimer: the water fountain is past the circulation desk where i work, so i ALWAYS see who comes and goes to the water fountain.) we will call him "mr attractive" for security purposes. SERIOUSLY mr attractive. have you NOT HEARD of a water bottle??? although, later on, THAT SAME DAY, he came back up to the water fountain with a cup. i was having a proud moment for someone i didn't know. i am so weird sometimes.

....freaking out THIS SAME GUY (mr. attractive) when checking out head phones to him. first, because i was at the computer, HE DIDN'T EVEN LET ME KNOW HE WAS THERE. so immediately i felt horrible for not seeing someone was standing there. he just needed a pair of head phones. so second, i check out a pair of headphones to him, but right as i'm handing them i realize that they didn't scan properly. IN MID REACH, i snatch the head phones out of his grasp saying "oh dang it, it didn't scan properly" kinda of loud, i guess. so once i scan the pair of head phones properly, i hand them back saying apologizing. HE JUST STARES AT ME. then he HESITATES to take them back. he takes them and i apologize again. AND HE SAYS NOTHING. making this so much more awkward then it already was. THANK YOU SO MUCH. jeeez..........

....someone in your general proximity has a VERY BAD CASE of monday mornings. and they are VERY audible. lovely. way to make mondays even better. YOU ARE SO HELPFUL.

....when, on Halloween mind you, your friend walks in the library wearing devil horns. then a coworker proceeds to say "oh that little devil is Caroline's friend" think about it. HOW DOES THAT SOUND? i personally thought it was hilarious. :)

....when you stick your hands in the new, fancy schmancy, hand dryer in the bathroom, and it sounds like a CHAINSAW about to SAW YOUR HANDS OFF. who would even WANT to use that? it scared the living daylights outta me, i'll tell you that.

....when you sneeze and your eye twitches almost immediately after. strange feeling, that is.

....when someone walks by and smiles. that's not awkward, except for the fact that he had FLOSS STILL HANGING FROM HIS MOUTH.

....when your walking to class and you see someone sitting on a bench. so how is that awkward, you ask? well, instead of one pair of legs, i see two sitting in the same spot, meaning that someone is sitting in another person's lap. the awkward part is that i realized i had been STARING AT THEM THE ENTIRE TIME i was processing the seating situation. *queue pulling out phone and playing with it so you look busy.....

....when you find out that screaming that you heard in the bathroom last week (you can find that awkward moment here) REALLY. DID. HAPPEN. and that you weren't just imagining it, but now you wish you did. AND THAT'S ALL I'M GONNA SAY ABOUT THAT.

....when your looking at your DISPOSABLE starbucks cup, and it says DO NOT MICROWAVE. what? am i gonna die from microwaving it? i ALWAYS microwave my coffee in that cup when it gets cold. POOP.

....when your walking in the library and someone notices you and looks at you as if they are saying "why are you looking over my shoulder?" when in fact, you ARE NOT LOOKING OVER THEIR SHOULDER. are you doing something you shouldn't be? why do you look so guilty?

....when someone checks out a book entitled "the tequila worm". and it's from the CHILDREN'S SECTION. need i say more.

....when someone comes up to the gamecock bobble head at your desk (yeah that's right CLEMSON fans. A GAMECOCK BOBBLE HEAD. be jealous.) and makes it's head bobble. the just stands there STARING AT IT. creepy much?

....when you can't burp. not WON'T burp, CAN'T. trust me. i would LOVE TO BE ABLE TO BURP, like a normal person. but, except for something SUPER QUIET and rare, i can't do it. AT ALL. and it is uncomfortable. it really is. so instead i hiccup, or just have this massive amount of burp air that i can't push up without making my self vomit. tis a sad life i lead.

....when you look at the mole on your finger at a certain angle and learn that it looks like a pregnant lady's belly button. with hair. delightful, no?

....when your driving fast in the slow lane and some mini van from Connecticut passes you. and the drives is like 100 years old.

....when you get a sweet tea from bojangles and learn that their tea ISN'T AS AWESOME has i had been told. not that i won't drink it,because i am a firm believer in sweet tea. it's just not near as amazing as Micky D's or subway's. OH YEAH. I WENT THERE. WHAT NOW?

....when you talk to yourself in the car as if there is someone else in there with you. and then you answer your self. *facepalm*

put links in the comments about your awkward moments or snag the awkward moment when button and join in every thursday!!!

1 comment:

AbbyGirl said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA you're hilarious. I ONLY WISH my life was that exciting ;) . End comment.