Tuesday, August 13, 2013

an ode to English. part 1.

i was going through all of my school papers from the last two years in order to clean some things out to prepare for this coming year that starts in less than a week (holy......!) and i came across some of my notes from two of my English classes. i was gloriously surprised to find that i had written down some quotes from my teachers. i remembered i had done this whenever they said something particularly hilarious, inspiring, or hilariously inspiring.

it made me kind of sad that i wouldn't be returning to enjoy more of their wisdom, but i know that i can visit and i know that i am on to better things....the things that God has in store.

but all the same, i thought i would share with you some of their knowledge.

thus this is 

 wisdom from English literature.
whilst reading 
shakespeare's twelfth night:

"they have power, money, and can give you nice things. they can give you work and protect you from people that don't like you. there are good reasons to hang with royalty."

(in reference to group projects)
"if you are a control freak and have to have everything going your way, GET OVER YOUR DANG SELF."

"this isn't entirely fun."

"did the sandwich eat me? no! i ate the sandwich!"

"brimstone in your liver is BAD."

(in reference to the friend zone and other ways to call the friends zone) 
"you're in the buddy box."

(in reference to one of the characters being vague about location) 
"where is Dutch?"

"you're down south of my lady's opinion (quote from text)
you're down wind (teacher's definition)."

whilst telling us about Roman Britain:
"they were in a thousand years of stupid time"

whilst explaining rhetoric:
"this i believe; literature is out there to change us."

whilst reading Beowulf:
"watch me try to syncopate."

"to be a king in this environment, one must kick butt and be generous."

"is it his fault he's a demon?"

"that's what people in Epic's do. someone asks you what happened and they go and retell the whole dang thing."

"...bites his head....drinks his blood....isn't that fun?"

"to the end! Beowulf! there's a dragon. what does a dragon do? dragons do bad things."

(in reference to dragons guarding gold) 
"dragons do this. i don't know what dragons do this. literature tells us that dragons do this."

"dragons hate people who take their stuff."

"is it bad to have swagger?"

"we need to have a dark bonfire reading of Beowulf. that would rock."

whilst reading Sir Gawain and the Green Knight:
"never deny yourself the pleasure of reading junk."

whilst telling us about the "quote burger":
"if you do a bunch of quotes, you first have to have layers and layers of turkey and ham and salami...this is a dumb metaphor."

"let's find different words for kiss- smooch, kiss, mwah, suckface, tonsil hockey. what is the difference between a smooch *kisses the air* and suck face? *pauses* i'm not going to demonstrate that one."

whilst reading poetry:
"does everyone see some Jesus in this poem? that sounds so irreverent."

(while making the "f" sound) "come one. do it with me. i feel stupid here. be stupid with me."

"the idea of clothes makes people nervous. if i showed up to class in a dress (this teacher is a man by the way), that would be a topic of conversation. it would probably end up on facebook."

"words are delicious."

"yes, he stuck his hand in her poop. he is not very bright."

and this is where we shall wait for more wisdom. 
part two will be up tomorrow. :)


Nicole Shea said...

Wow this really really made me miss my English classes!!!!!

Caroline Gant said...

i will too in a sense. mainly in the sense that i will not glean from the hilariously inspiring words of wisdom.