the awkward moment when.

ok. ok. 

it's baaaccck!!!! 

i'm pumped.

 i'm super pumped. 

i'm super pumped to embarrass myself to ya'll again!

 i'm bringing back the weekly awkward moments. 

every thursday (maybe friday depending on my mood or my life), come head over here and here about my awkward life. 

you'll have a whole new perspective of me (that is of course, if you didn't read my awkward posts before.)

i really need to make a new pciture for this post.
IT'S TIME FOR NEW THINGS.
NEW THINGS I TELL YA.

 when you decide to start up something you stopped a long time ago. Example, this post. i think i stopped because i wasn't seeing anything awkward, but in reality that's a lie. i see and experience awkward ALL. THE. TIME.

when after deciding to start this up again, you realize that most of the awkward your readers will be reading about the awkward that happens to a waitress. i hope you're prepared for the awkward that comes with working in the food and beverage industry.

when, after the millions of times that you (jokingly, yet slightly serious for various reasons) threatened to kick people in the shins, you kick your own self in the shins by pulling a glass rack off of a shelf and slam down into your legs. IT'S CALLED KARMA.

when taking people's order you LIT'rally (think parks and rec's Chris Traeger played by the handsome Rob Lowe.) do not remember how to speak. happens to me often, so i have to completely start over and get weird and/or ugly looks while telling my guest that they can help themselves to the garden bar whenever they are ready. and to think i was an English Major, ruler of the good grammar fellows. have mercy.

when your math skill suuuuuuuccck. and this is really bad because you are constantly counting out change, but thank goodness for the computers who do the math for you, unless you put in the wrong total and then have to take ten-fifteen minutes to remember how to subtract. so you pull out your phone, which is forbidden on the floor. and then you do the walk of shame back to the table with the correct change while guest give you dirty looks for taking waaaaaayyy to long to get ehir change. NO, I SWEAR I WASN'T TRYING TO STEAL MONEY FROM YOU. MY MATHS AREN'T WORKING TODAY.

when you ask someone, whom you don't know well (as in only met them once but for some creepy reason they remember you and you don't quite remember them) how they are. TWICE. WITHIN ONE MINUTE OF THE PREVIOUS. because you don't know what else to say to this stranger. and when they ask you how you are a second time, you answer differently than the first time. not a full minute ago.

alrighty folks that's it for this week! anything awkward happen to you recently?